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We or They?

Written By Timothy Fish

Published 12/17/2009

I grew up in a small church that my dad pastored. Whenever there was something that needed to be done, we did it. If snow piled up on the walkways, we shoveled it. If the furnace needed fixing, we fixed it. If tree limbs needed to be cut, we cut them. Whatever needed doing, we did. But one Sunday morning, one of the other church members came in and sat down. She’s gone on to be with the Lord now, so I feel safe in telling this: I’m sure she must have said hello to everyone first, but then she said, “I knew they would have the heat turned up too high.”

We heard about it from my mother at Sunday dinner. That’s usually where she did her venting. “Just who does she think they are?” In a small church, much more than in larger churches, everyone knows who is responsible for each task. They isn’t some unknown person, but probably the person sitting in the pew in front of you.

South Park is significantly larger than that church. I am not personally involved in every ministry of South Park Baptist Church. Nor am I aware of all that goes on, but the other day I heard myself using the word we in reference to what someone else did in a ministry that I have never been involved in. It occurred to me that there is a big difference between we and they.

We is a term of ownership. Suppose you are a member of South Park who is not involved in the van ministry. If you were telling someone about South Park, would you say “We have a van ministry” or “They have a van ministry?” People who use the word we see themselves as part of the team. When one ministry has success, we all have success. Maybe what I am doing doesn’t appear to be as successful as some other ministries, but if what I do frees other people up to do the more successful things, then we are all successful.

It occurs to me that people who use the word we are more likely to stay at a church than those who use the word they. If we have a problem at church, then it is our responsibility to fix it, but if they have a problem at church, then I might as well go to another church that is better.

So, here’s my thought. We need to strive to convert they people into we people. We want people to be personally involved, seeing our church as their church, seeing our successes as their successes and our problems as their problems. When more people take a personal responsibility for the success of our ministries, our ministries will be even more successful.